Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
