so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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