im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
no you cant smoke seaweed
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
