Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
