could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
