Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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