Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Bring me that man meat
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
