i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
