No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
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Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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