I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
