soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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