no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
