everyone is single if you try hard enough
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
