the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
