The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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