I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
