i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize