omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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