you mean i was at the winter classic?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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