I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
