It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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