When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
