Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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