Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
