the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
