im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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