Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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