I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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