this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
