She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
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I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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