sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
