you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
