i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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