just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Someone came in the potted fern
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
