My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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