What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
