Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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