redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
