): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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