Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
