whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
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he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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