if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
