Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
