It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Success! We fucked roommates!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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