Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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