I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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