i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize