Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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