You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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