do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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