I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
