Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
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