I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
