I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize