That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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