Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
