I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
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I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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