at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
