just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
