How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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