fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
