it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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