Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize