Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
