The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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