Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
