Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
