in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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