Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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