32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
