My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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